If only Marvin Lewis could have these bullocks …

A small tidbit in the New York Times today, which has no chance of seeing the light of day on the televised news, covered the race by corporate lobbyists to gain last minute approval from the White House to essentially screw the people in some way, shape or form.  Predicting that Democrats might take the White House, Operation Fuck You is currently underway. 

Some of the policies backed by the pro-business lobby include:

• Trucking Companies would like to increase the maximum number of hours truck drivers can work.  If you’ve ever been on the road with a truck driver who hasn’t slept in 14 hours, I suggest the Transportation Department distribute astronaut diapers for every motorist who will piss themselves when said trucker swerves in and out of his lane.  Driving on the road with a sleepy driver in a Honda Civic is one thing; multiply the wheels to 18, and the highways will start to feel like Interstate Grand Theft Auto. 
• Coal Companies have been trying to change their image of late by using an 8 year old with Crayola Crayons explaining the benefits of cleaner coal technology.  However, the coal lobbies would like the Interior Department to allow them to dump rock and dirt from mountaintop mines into nearby water sources.  It’s just too expensive to trap carbon dioxide, and it’s too expensive to haul waste, says the coal lobby.  Since problem solving begins when a situation’s dilemma ranges from disastrous to “OH FUCK!  OH FUCK!”, this looks like yet another conundrum to be inherited by our children and grandchildren.   And who really cares if Appalachia is affected by a little water contamination?  It’s not like the majority of Appalachian adults will be able to read this blog anyway …
• The Enironmental Protection Agency, known under the Bush Administration as “People for the Ethical Treatment of the Utility Industry”, would like to regulate the use of pollution-control equipment by not mandating the utilization of pollution-control equipment.
• Employers would like to change the rules for family and medical leave because 12 weeks with an infant is a bit too generous.  After all, as long as a woman spends nine months with the fetus, everything else will just work itself out.  This coincides with the neoconservatives’ outlook on the youth vote, composed 100% of fetuses. 
• The National Chicken Council and the U.S. Poultry and Egg Association have answered the age old question, “What came first?  The chicken or the damaging ammonia fumes from chicken shit?”  The associations insist that ammonia released into the air is not a public or environmental health hazard “just cause”.  An anonymous spokesperson from the NCC said to me, “The only chicken shits that should be regulated are in the Democratic party”. 

I’m sure there is more, but my bleeding ulcer can’t take it.  Notice the pattern - corporations, which have the same rights as human beings, benefit monetarily when real human beings get screwed.  If there is one main problem facing our democracy, it is the political lobby.  A plague on both sides of the political aisle, the lobby movement - funded by special interest corporations - continue to set the agenda for policy. 

Can we get a lobby for citizens???  The popular vote just doesn’t seem to cut it …

My mother lives in Spring, TX, and for those of you who don’t know, Houston and the surrounding areas are the Bible Chastity Belt.  As the only Jewish woman in a sea of Evangelical Christianity, she often gets email forwards about the love of Jesus, the love Jesus has for George Bush, and the love Evangelical Christians have for irrationality.  {I mean, really, if you believe in a trinity and can manage to call it monotheism … you’ll believe anything!}

Below, I have pasted one of these lovely email forwards to illustrate what we, in the Rational Revolution, are up against.  Read at your own risk (and blood pressure levels …).  I would also like to note that by referring to Evangelicals, I in no way mean to imply moderate, tolerant Christians - otherwise known as REAL Christians. 

My notes are in bold.

Was Pres Bush Wrong??? 

Read all of this one, it is interesting!!  Read down to the very bottom highlighted in green, IT’LL GIVE YOU GOOSEBUMPS!!!  You don’t want to miss this!  VERY INTERESTING-

The set up here is quite interesting, though it is complete and utter bullshit.  What the author would like to convey is Biblical evidence that the War in Iraq was somehow mandated in the Bible.  So, let’s give the author the benefit of the doubt and assume that he/she knew that Iraq was established in 1932 after WWI.  I have never found any reference to trench warfare in the Torah or the King James Bible, but I digress …

1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq

We have no idea where the Garden of Eden was, and if we did, we would have already destroyed its natural resources for oil or other exploitative resources. 
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!

This is absolutely true as long as you discount the entire continent of Africa, and honestly, we seem to do that at present so often, why not direct our apathy to the cradle of civilization as well?
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq

I will give $100 to anyone who can site a reference in the Bible of a geographical location directly connected to Noah.  That’s $100, some of which might be Monopoly money.
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq

See my challenge above.  If you’re an Evangelical Christian, however, you probably don’t use reference material much, so never mind.
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq !

This was Abraham’s ancestral home, but he is linked to Haran in the Torah.  However, I completely understand why Evangelical Christians believe this without question.  After all, George Bush was born in Connecticut (making him a Yankee), but everyone believes he’s a Texan.  Go figure …
6. Isaac’s wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq !

I’ll give this one to them as I am fair and balanced (which really means that I’m completely biased, but come on now …)
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq

Um, no … Aram would probably have been in Turkey/Northern Syria, so that geography is way off.  Of course, Saudi Arabian men attacked us on 9/11 guided out of Afghanistan which caused a pre-emptive war in Iraq, proving once and for all that follies in geographical attacks do have a Biblical concordance.

8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq

Actually, Nineveh was Turkey/Iraq … in the general area …
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.

Again … in the general area, like IN THE MIDDLE EAST!
10. Amos cried out in Iraq !

No, he did this in Israel, and he never traveled outside of Israel/Judah.  It sure would help if Evangelical Christians actually read the Bible …
11 Babylon , which is in Iraq , destroyed Jerusalem

This is a bit misleading (big surprise!) since equating Babylon with a country younger than Paul Newman is a bit dubious.
12. Daniel was in the lion’s den in Iraq !

Again, dubious …
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the Fiery Furnace!)

Last time I checked, Jesus was nowhere to be found in the “Old” Testament.  That’s the whole reason they wrote a ”New” one …
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the “writing on the wall” in Iraq.

Babylon = present day Iraq :: Jesus = Republican 
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.

See above …

16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq ….

See above …

17. The wise men were from Iraq …

No, they were from the East which even in Biblical times, encompasses a pretty big area.  However, that does go with the modern day thinking that the entire Middle East is just one, big Arab country.
18. Peter preached in Iraq ..

Except that he’s never mentioned to be anywhere near there …
19. The “Empire of Man” described in Revelation is called Babylon , which was a city in
Iraq! And you have probably seen this one: Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible.

But do you know which nation is second?  It is Iraq !

This really is gonna piss off Egypt …

However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible.  The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar , and Mesopotamia … The word Mesopotamia
means between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris And Euphrates Rivers ..

The name Iraq , means country with deep roots.  Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.  No other nation, except Israel , has more history and prophecy associated with it than Iraq.

Egypt:  Look over here!  Over here … You know the Pyramids and Moses?!?  What the hell do we have to do to get some recognition around here?!?!?

And also, this is something to think about: Since America is typically represented by an
eagle.  Saddam and Bin Laddin should have read up on their Muslim passages …
The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible):

Koran (9:11) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome
Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while
some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; And there was peace.

(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!

Now this is the pinnacle of bullshit right here.  First, we are to imagine that bald eagles were seen in the Middle East.  Second, we have to imagine that an entire population of Evangelical Christians can’t summon enough rational thought to plug in www.snopes.com into their web browser, or at least Google the Koran. 

For those of you held in utter suspense, here it is folks, Chapter 9, Verse 11 of the Koran:

But if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, they are your brethren in faith; and We make the communications clear for a people who know.

It is difficult enough that people would use their own faith to propel their own prejudices and political views.  You would think if Iraq was so revered as a Biblical city, our country would have shown far more respect for the museums and historical landmarks within it.  Wasn’t it Rummy who said, when asked about the pillaging of the museums: “How many vases could there possibly be in Iraq?” 

It is far worse that so many will fall for it.  The correct information is easily accessible, and the argument is transparent in its irrationality. 

So I invite you, in this season of charity, to give the gift of Rational Thought to your fellow Evangelical Christians.  They will hate you for it and possibly end any sort of communication with you … but that’s only one of the perks.

“A Question of Impeachment”, presented by the New York City theatre group, Culture Project, can be watched on the group’s page on YouTube.  The tagline for the show is They took it off the table so we put it on the stage - Trial by Theater. 

The excerpt below is of Staceyann Chin, an artist who makes me proud to be an artist.  If you haven’t experienced the work of Ms. Chin, I encourage you to do so … her words will make you look at the world in an entirely different way. 

Deep within the woods of Bohemian Grove, Darth Cheney and his minion of Darkness summon the ghost of Ronald Reagan for all Republican candidates to worship. 

But these evil doers will not go unnoticed by THE SUPERCATS!  In their control room within the Halls of Cuteness, Professor Schmuel Birnbaum, Colonel Moishe Levinson, and Madam Chana “Swooshy” Schwartz spy the resurrection …

Colonel Moishe:  We must take action, my fellow Supercats!  We cannot continue to allow Republicans to worship at the alter of this man!

Professor Schmuel:  That’s right!  After all, this is a President who called the Voting Rights act “humiliating to the South!”  What kind of person builds a legacy on race-baiting?

Madam Chana:  Republicans do!  And that’s why we must stop them at their next debate!!

Traveling in disguise to the next Republican Debate, the Supercats make their move …

Just as the candidates summon the ghost of Ronald Reagan by forgetting not only the embarrassing incident at Bitburg, but also by turning their backs on black voters, Professor Schmuel jumps to action by raining golden showers on their parade!

Professor Schmuel:  Take that, you back door racists!!!

Then the entire team leaps to his side …

Colonel Moishe:  And this is for Neshoba!  Take that!

Professor Schuel:  Exorcize the demon, Madam! 

Madam Chana:  Right on, Professor!

Madam Chana uses her powers of cuteness to <zap!> the ghost of Ronald Reagan away from the current dialogue, paralyzing the Republican Candidates when they try to worship at the alter of Reagan. 

Madam Chana:  Take that, Reagan!  I’m diminishing your ghost into the Constitution! 

Professor Schmuel:  Now every time the Republicans want to revere Reagan, they’ll be forced to refer to the Constitution!  HAHAHAHA!!!!

Colonel Moishe:  Now that’s a document they’re not used to referring to!

AND THE SUPERCATS HAVE ONCE AGAIN SAVED THE DAY!

This installment of Supercats is dedicated to the memory of Punkin, one of the original Supercats.  She will be missed~

My good friend, Scott McClellan, shown at left demonstrating the size of Karl Rove’s breasts for the White House Press Corps (ok, just Jeff Gannon), recently dropped a literary bomb on Plame Gate:

“I stood at the White House briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.  There was one problem. It was not true.

[I] unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest-ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice president, the president’s chief of staff, and the president himself.”

Since the news errupted Tuesday, Scott has not granted any interviews to the press; however, I did receive an email from him yesterday.  I have printed it below as I’m sure he won’t mind dealing with the leak …

‘Sup Boo,

Dude … what up?  Did you see that release about the boys club?  I can totally see that Dick’s face when they read it … and Cheney’s too … LOL!  I’m so freakin tired of being the butt of everyone’s jokes around there.  I’m Scott mother fuckin’ McClellan mother fuckers!  And they can’t mess with this Irish boy any longer!!!

No more being the taste tester for Dick’s food.  No more signs taped to my back that read “dough-boy”.  No more high-5’s that leave me hangin’.  Fuck dat noise, girl!  I’m gonna be heard like Paul Revere! 

And ya know what else?  That Georgie Porgie never invited me to the ranch after Tony came on board.  He stood on TV and said we’d be like, rockin on porch swings and shit.  HE LIED TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT IT!  What the fuck is that all about?!?!?!  How can you lie about something like that???  I called him and he was like, “Uh, Scott … I gotta see about blah blah blah” and then I totally heard Tony Snow with his Ken Doll big fat head laughing in the background. 

And don’t even get me started on Dana Perino.  That twat wouldn’t know how to lie believably at the Daily Press Briefing if her hair dye depended on it! 

So now the bombs are coming girl.  Maybe if they’d been a little nicer, I woulda lied for them a little longer, but no!  And yeah, I coulda done the right thing while I was in the administration, but dang!  I thought they were my friends.  Like a family, ya know!  Nobody messes with Scott MOTHER FUCKIN’ MCCLELLAN! 

Peace out.

Scott M.

P.S:  Am I invited to Thanksgiving or what??

On 15 November, the Democratic candidates debated each other in Las Vegas.  One issue in particular caught my attention, and that was the question posed by Wolf Blitzer when he asked, “When they clash, what is more important, human rights or national security?”  The framing of this question interests me - are these mutually exclusive goals in the 21st century?  And who set the framework for this type of conjecture? 

I think the answer to the latter is obvious as we have lived through a Presidency that would propose and carry out to limit the freedoms of its own citizens in order to provide - at least on the surface - a sense of security.  From the suspension of habeas corpus to the illegal spying of American citizens to soft media control, BushCo’s answer to the terrorist question is to become like them in order to fight them. 

Of course, the irrationality of our diminished freedoms at home stems from the fact that the great call of duty all neoconservatives assume upon their shoulders is the spread of democracy abroad.  As Bill Maher, one of the patron saints of this blog, observed:

[George Bush] is gonna spread freedom and democracy to the Iraqi people if he has to kill every last one of them to do it.

So we have the neocon’s answer to the question.  What about the Democratic candidates?

If you needed more proof that Republicans continue to the frame debate, you need only listen to Blitzer’s assertion that “occassionally they could clash”, but also to Clinton’s and Dodd’s answer. 

Only Bill Richardson and Barack Obama maintained that the concepts are not mutually exclusive.  More importantly, I would maintain that if you tend to the issues of human rights, not only on a moral basis, but on an economic, social and political basis, it will make the United States safer. 

Samantha Power, Obama’s Foreign Policy Advisor, in her book A Problem from Hell, asserted the following:

… security for the Americans at home and abroad is contingent on international stability, and there is perhaps no greater source of havoc than a group of well-armed extremists bent on wiping out a people on ethnic, national, or religious grounds.

… the sad record of the last century shows that the walls of the United States tries to build around genocidal socities almost inevitably shatter.  States that murder and torment their own citizens target citizens elsewhere. 

~ Excerpt, page 513

We need only look to the lessons of the past - the lessons of Hilter who persecuted his own people and then moved across Europe, Saddam Hussein who tried to wipe out the Kurds and then waged war on Kuwait, and Molosevic spread his war from Slovenia to Bosnia and Kosovo - to see that leaders who will squelch the rights of their own citizens don’t necessarily play well with others, much less respect our borders. 

After all, the well-documented humanitarian crisis that existed under the Taliban reached our shores on September the 11th.  And we can see regimes today, like the government of Omar al-Bashir in Sudan, who not only mimic the Taliban in their cruelty, but also in their disrespect for the borders of their neighbors. 

We cannot build a wall around America, but we can ensure that the grievences of citizens around the world are not played out upon our national stage.  This does not mean policing the world, but it does mean that America needs to operate globally at a diplomatic intensity where the Geneva Convention is of utmost importance.  We need a President who understands that if the people of the world have their basic human rights, there will be no need to threaten our security.