A small tidbit in the New York Times today, which has no chance of seeing the light of day on the televised news, covered the race by corporate lobbyists to gain last minute approval from the White House to essentially screw the people in some way, shape or form.  Predicting that Democrats might take the White House, Operation Fuck You is currently underway. 

Some of the policies backed by the pro-business lobby include:

• Trucking Companies would like to increase the maximum number of hours truck drivers can work.  If you’ve ever been on the road with a truck driver who hasn’t slept in 14 hours, I suggest the Transportation Department distribute astronaut diapers for every motorist who will piss themselves when said trucker swerves in and out of his lane.  Driving on the road with a sleepy driver in a Honda Civic is one thing; multiply the wheels to 18, and the highways will start to feel like Interstate Grand Theft Auto. 
• Coal Companies have been trying to change their image of late by using an 8 year old with Crayola Crayons explaining the benefits of cleaner coal technology.  However, the coal lobbies would like the Interior Department to allow them to dump rock and dirt from mountaintop mines into nearby water sources.  It’s just too expensive to trap carbon dioxide, and it’s too expensive to haul waste, says the coal lobby.  Since problem solving begins when a situation’s dilemma ranges from disastrous to “OH FUCK!  OH FUCK!”, this looks like yet another conundrum to be inherited by our children and grandchildren.   And who really cares if Appalachia is affected by a little water contamination?  It’s not like the majority of Appalachian adults will be able to read this blog anyway …
• The Enironmental Protection Agency, known under the Bush Administration as “People for the Ethical Treatment of the Utility Industry”, would like to regulate the use of pollution-control equipment by not mandating the utilization of pollution-control equipment.
• Employers would like to change the rules for family and medical leave because 12 weeks with an infant is a bit too generous.  After all, as long as a woman spends nine months with the fetus, everything else will just work itself out.  This coincides with the neoconservatives’ outlook on the youth vote, composed 100% of fetuses. 
• The National Chicken Council and the U.S. Poultry and Egg Association have answered the age old question, “What came first?  The chicken or the damaging ammonia fumes from chicken shit?”  The associations insist that ammonia released into the air is not a public or environmental health hazard “just cause”.  An anonymous spokesperson from the NCC said to me, “The only chicken shits that should be regulated are in the Democratic party”. 

I’m sure there is more, but my bleeding ulcer can’t take it.  Notice the pattern – corporations, which have the same rights as human beings, benefit monetarily when real human beings get screwed.  If there is one main problem facing our democracy, it is the political lobby.  A plague on both sides of the political aisle, the lobby movement – funded by special interest corporations – continue to set the agenda for policy. 

Can we get a lobby for citizens???  The popular vote just doesn’t seem to cut it …

“A Question of Impeachment”, presented by the New York City theatre group, Culture Project, can be watched on the group’s page on YouTube.  The tagline for the show is They took it off the table so we put it on the stage – Trial by Theater. 

The excerpt below is of Staceyann Chin, an artist who makes me proud to be an artist.  If you haven’t experienced the work of Ms. Chin, I encourage you to do so … her words will make you look at the world in an entirely different way. 

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Deep within the woods of Bohemian Grove, Darth Cheney and his minion of Darkness summon the ghost of Ronald Reagan for all Republican candidates to worship. 

But these evil doers will not go unnoticed by THE SUPERCATS!  In their control room within the Halls of Cuteness, Professor Schmuel Birnbaum, Colonel Moishe Levinson, and Madam Chana “Swooshy” Schwartz spy the resurrection …

Colonel Moishe:  We must take action, my fellow Supercats!  We cannot continue to allow Republicans to worship at the alter of this man!

Professor Schmuel:  That’s right!  After all, this is a President who called the Voting Rights act “humiliating to the South!”  What kind of person builds a legacy on race-baiting?

Madam Chana:  Republicans do!  And that’s why we must stop them at their next debate!!

Traveling in disguise to the next Republican Debate, the Supercats make their move …

Just as the candidates summon the ghost of Ronald Reagan by forgetting not only the embarrassing incident at Bitburg, but also by turning their backs on black voters, Professor Schmuel jumps to action by raining golden showers on their parade!

Professor Schmuel:  Take that, you back door racists!!!

Then the entire team leaps to his side …

Colonel Moishe:  And this is for Neshoba!  Take that!

Professor Schuel:  Exorcize the demon, Madam! 

Madam Chana:  Right on, Professor!

Madam Chana uses her powers of cuteness to <zap!> the ghost of Ronald Reagan away from the current dialogue, paralyzing the Republican Candidates when they try to worship at the alter of Reagan. 

Madam Chana:  Take that, Reagan!  I’m diminishing your ghost into the Constitution! 

Professor Schmuel:  Now every time the Republicans want to revere Reagan, they’ll be forced to refer to the Constitution!  HAHAHAHA!!!!

Colonel Moishe:  Now that’s a document they’re not used to referring to!

AND THE SUPERCATS HAVE ONCE AGAIN SAVED THE DAY!

This installment of Supercats is dedicated to the memory of Punkin, one of the original Supercats.  She will be missed~

My good friend, Scott McClellan, shown at left demonstrating the size of Karl Rove’s breasts for the White House Press Corps (ok, just Jeff Gannon), recently dropped a literary bomb on Plame Gate:

“I stood at the White House briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.  There was one problem. It was not true.

[I] unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest-ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice president, the president’s chief of staff, and the president himself.”

Since the news errupted Tuesday, Scott has not granted any interviews to the press; however, I did receive an email from him yesterday.  I have printed it below as I’m sure he won’t mind dealing with the leak …

‘Sup Boo,

Dude … what up?  Did you see that release about the boys club?  I can totally see that Dick’s face when they read it … and Cheney’s too … LOL!  I’m so freakin tired of being the butt of everyone’s jokes around there.  I’m Scott mother fuckin’ McClellan mother fuckers!  And they can’t mess with this Irish boy any longer!!!

No more being the taste tester for Dick’s food.  No more signs taped to my back that read “dough-boy”.  No more high-5’s that leave me hangin’.  Fuck dat noise, girl!  I’m gonna be heard like Paul Revere! 

And ya know what else?  That Georgie Porgie never invited me to the ranch after Tony came on board.  He stood on TV and said we’d be like, rockin on porch swings and shit.  HE LIED TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT IT!  What the fuck is that all about?!?!?!  How can you lie about something like that???  I called him and he was like, “Uh, Scott … I gotta see about blah blah blah” and then I totally heard Tony Snow with his Ken Doll big fat head laughing in the background. 

And don’t even get me started on Dana Perino.  That twat wouldn’t know how to lie believably at the Daily Press Briefing if her hair dye depended on it! 

So now the bombs are coming girl.  Maybe if they’d been a little nicer, I woulda lied for them a little longer, but no!  And yeah, I coulda done the right thing while I was in the administration, but dang!  I thought they were my friends.  Like a family, ya know!  Nobody messes with Scott MOTHER FUCKIN’ MCCLELLAN! 

Peace out.

Scott M.

P.S:  Am I invited to Thanksgiving or what??

On 15 November, the Democratic candidates debated each other in Las Vegas.  One issue in particular caught my attention, and that was the question posed by Wolf Blitzer when he asked, “When they clash, what is more important, human rights or national security?”  The framing of this question interests me – are these mutually exclusive goals in the 21st century?  And who set the framework for this type of conjecture? 

I think the answer to the latter is obvious as we have lived through a Presidency that would propose and carry out to limit the freedoms of its own citizens in order to provide – at least on the surface – a sense of security.  From the suspension of habeas corpus to the illegal spying of American citizens to soft media control, BushCo’s answer to the terrorist question is to become like them in order to fight them. 

Of course, the irrationality of our diminished freedoms at home stems from the fact that the great call of duty all neoconservatives assume upon their shoulders is the spread of democracy abroad.  As Bill Maher, one of the patron saints of this blog, observed:

[George Bush] is gonna spread freedom and democracy to the Iraqi people if he has to kill every last one of them to do it.

So we have the neocon’s answer to the question.  What about the Democratic candidates?

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If you needed more proof that Republicans continue to the frame debate, you need only listen to Blitzer’s assertion that “occassionally they could clash”, but also to Clinton’s and Dodd’s answer. 

Only Bill Richardson and Barack Obama maintained that the concepts are not mutually exclusive.  More importantly, I would maintain that if you tend to the issues of human rights, not only on a moral basis, but on an economic, social and political basis, it will make the United States safer. 

Samantha Power, Obama’s Foreign Policy Advisor, in her book A Problem from Hell, asserted the following:

… security for the Americans at home and abroad is contingent on international stability, and there is perhaps no greater source of havoc than a group of well-armed extremists bent on wiping out a people on ethnic, national, or religious grounds.

… the sad record of the last century shows that the walls of the United States tries to build around genocidal socities almost inevitably shatter.  States that murder and torment their own citizens target citizens elsewhere. 

~ Excerpt, page 513

We need only look to the lessons of the past – the lessons of Hilter who persecuted his own people and then moved across Europe, Saddam Hussein who tried to wipe out the Kurds and then waged war on Kuwait, and Molosevic spread his war from Slovenia to Bosnia and Kosovo – to see that leaders who will squelch the rights of their own citizens don’t necessarily play well with others, much less respect our borders. 

After all, the well-documented humanitarian crisis that existed under the Taliban reached our shores on September the 11th.  And we can see regimes today, like the government of Omar al-Bashir in Sudan, who not only mimic the Taliban in their cruelty, but also in their disrespect for the borders of their neighbors. 

We cannot build a wall around America, but we can ensure that the grievences of citizens around the world are not played out upon our national stage.  This does not mean policing the world, but it does mean that America needs to operate globally at a diplomatic intensity where the Geneva Convention is of utmost importance.  We need a President who understands that if the people of the world have their basic human rights, there will be no need to threaten our security. 

Before tonight’s Democratic Debate in Los Vegas on CNN, I wanted to sit down with my good friend, Wolf Blitzer, to get the head’s up on the event.  What I discovered was shocking – a drinking game composed by my other good friends, Anderson Cooper and Larry King.  I swiped a copy of it and reproduced it below:

• Everytime Hillary Clinton uses the word “experience”, take a sip of beer while rolling your eyes.
• Everytime Mike Gravel goes on an insane rant about his fellow candidates, slip your grandmother’s panties on and take a shot of whiskey. 
• Everytime Dennis Kucinich makes way too much sense for a political candidate – much less a leprechan - eat a bowl of Lucky Charms poured in Jim Beam. 
• Everytime Joe Biden shows his pearly whites – which is actually two big porcelein bones wrapped around his jaw – brush your teeth with your favorite vodka.
• Everytime Barack Obama uses his refreshing good looks and swagger to look like more of a human than the Hillarybot, pour Kaluha in your partners mouth and make out through the commercial break.
• Everytime Wolf asks Hillary a question, and she responds, “That’s not the question we planted for you, asshole!” – water your Chia pet with Bicardi.
• Everytime Bill Richardson lists how much more experience he has than everyone else, exclaim, “yeah, but …” and take a shot of tequila.
• Everytime Chris Dodd … oh nevermind …
• Everytime Wolf Blitzer mistakenly refers to Barack Obama as Osama Bin Laden, howl at the moon and throw your TV out the window … after all, by this point, we’re drunk enough. 

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Don’t you miss the simple days of Jeff Gannon asking softball questions like:

Why do Democrats hate our troops and this country so much? 

We on the Left condemned the practice because planting questions is for neo-cons – it is a veiled practice that calls into question not only the honesty, but the integrity of a politician positioning themselves in a Town Hall Meeting … It’s something a candidate or a President does when they don’t want to face the right of private citizens or journalists to ask valid questions.  And yet, the liberal blogs and commenters are condemning this as “distraction”. 

Why are we apologizing for her??? Why is it wrong when Bush does it, but not when Hillary does it? Arguing that Bush does it worse is no rational argument. It’s just apologist loser mentality.

Remember, for every planted question in a town hall meeting, there is a concerned citizen who won’t get to practice their right to question a future president.

That’s the complete antithesis of Democracy.

Are we so numb as citizens in a “free” country that this has become OK?  Have we been so abused by the current administration that we should take this type of behavior from someone who promises change?  Should we not demand more?  Should we not demand free and open dialogue to prevent another BushCo in the White House? 

I will not vote for Hillary.  She lost any chance of getting my vote when she cowardly voted for the Iraq War on a rushed National Intelligence Estimate transparent with holes and problems.  If you do not have the strength of character and reasoning to cast an unpopular – yet legitimate – vote against a bullshit war, why the hell do you think you have the consummate skills and strength to be President? 

We deserve more as citizens.  We deserve a free and open exchange of ideas from our candidates.  We deserve to question openly and deserve to be answered honestly. 

Hillary doesn’t want to do that. 

We deserve more than that.

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Pat Robertson, sauntering up to the microphone like he’d just raced Jesus in the 40 meter dash, endorsed Rudy Giuliani on the credentials that all Giuliani supporters endorse him for: the photo-op. 

As pictured above, we see the two probable Presidential Candidates for the November 2008 election.  On the right, we see the poorly coiffed Hillary Clinton, sans any New York Fire or Police Department of New York paraphernalia, her plastic face reflecting the closest thing to concern it can muster after her advisers told her it would win votes.  Who the fuck does she think she is??? 

Ah, but there in the middle of it all (the picture, that is) stands a strong and proud Rudy.  Mask?  He don’t need no stinkin’ mask.  He’ll breathe the same fumes as the 9/11 Rescuers.  Why??  Well, because he’s rich and can afford health insurance but still!  And he’s got the FDNY hat, jacket, belt buckle, and limited-time-only insignia’ed tighty whities to remind him what’s important in the wake of the attacks – perception. 

I sat down with Pat and Rudy after the press conference to find out why Jesus feeds Pat so much bullshit. 

Boo:  Thanks for sitting down with me.

Pat:  Amen to that, sister.

Rudy:  That’s right.  9/11.

Boo:  What?

Rudy:  I end every sentence with 9/11 now to remind us of the threat we face. 

Boo:  How’s that working for you?

Rudy:  I’ll let you know November of 2008. 

Boo:  So, Pat, do you think the media will interpret this endorsement as desperate?  I mean, Rudy was one of the most liberal Republicans ever.

Pat:  Jesus communicated with me the importance of the puppet, er, I mean, pulpit the next President will have when facing Islamofascism.  Rudy is America’s Mayor.

Rudy:  And according to Matthew 9/11 …

Boo:  Wait, I’m gonna have to stop you there …

Before I knew it, Rudy waterboarded me.  I think that was the end of the interview, but damned if I didn’t confess to being in the New York mafia …