When I heard Bush declare at last year’s State of the Union that America was addicted to oil, I visualized the heroin needle popping out of a junky’s vein, looking him in the eye and saying, “You are addicted to heroin.”  

But if you heard a deafening cry throughout the land today, it was the Big Oil companies wailing over what could be a big goodbye to $700 million dollars in tax breaks this year.  That’s right – the 110th Congress debated on the House Floor H.R. 6 – the Energy Bill which was part of the 100 Hours Agenda.  Going after the Big Oil??  The only thing to ask is:

WHO THE FUCK DO THE DEMOCRATS THINK THEY ARE???

I mean, ending certain subsidies to the oil industry and shifting those funds to the tune of $15 billion over the next 10 years to promote renewable energy, alternative fuels, efficiancy and conservation sounds like a load o’ crap to me. 

Actually … I was just seeing if you were paying attention; although, in the interest of full disclosure, I do not drive a fuel efficient car; rather, I drive a highway ready 747 jumbo jet.  My husband cut off the wings to enable it to fit comfortably within the lanes (comfortable to me, at least).  I find that as a short person, it is the essential ride I need to see over you fucking bastards who drive trucks in the city.  But I digress …

The revenue from the bill basically breaks down like this:

• $10 billion would be recovered from funds lost in an accounting error from the sale of deep water drilling leases in the Gulf of Mexico.  Like all things that are wrong with the world including terrorism, traffic, Jesus not coming back, and halitosis, this did occur during Clinton’s term around 1998.  However, it should be noted that Interior Inspector General Earl Devany told the Senate in a hearing that the problem was detected early in 2000, and that the Mineral Management Service’s approach was “shockingly cavalier”.  Hmmm….. (let’s all do a collective chin rub)
• $6 billion will come from a repeal of subsidies and tax breaks and conservation fees taken on oil and gas taken from the Gulf. 

All money will be funneled into a research and development fund – which Republican Congressmen refer to as a “slush fund”, though none would comment on the flavor of Slushie funded – for renewable fuels (i.e., solar, wind, ethanol, bio-diesal, and conservation incentives to the private sector). 

The tax breaks repealed comes from the 2004 tax breaks Congress passed aimed at helping U.S. manufacturers compete against imports.  This tax break was never intended for highly profitable large oil companies, but of course they took it because really, who the hell is going to argue with this:

I watched C-SPAN coverage of the House debate, and there were a few concerns brought up about the bill – some rational and others, well, you decide.

1.) Instead of taxing domestic producers (I think they used the word “punishment”  like the bill authorized a collective spanking of every CEO of Big Oil – a measure I would certainly support), why not tax foreign oil with a gasoline tax or import tax?

Technically, this is a good question to bring up, as long as you want an honest answer.  The main reason you don’t want to mess with OPEC is because legally, OPEC doesn’t have to play fair.  If they want to withhold barrells, hike the price, and make you sign over the soul of your first born, there’s nothing we can do to stop them.  We can stop trading with their countries, and they would give a shit. 

The Government can, however, regulate fair business practice.  Plus, oil companies have no incentive to fund alternative fuel sources when they make record profits off the market fluctuation. 

2.)  This bill singles out the oil industry unfairly. 

I have hired these children to play “My heart bleeds for you“. 

3.) The American Petroleum Institute argued that the funds do not favor a particular alternative fuel source.

Only the Big Oil lobby, maybe joined by Rupert Murdoch, would argue that diversity and competition isn’t good in a capitalist economy.

4.)  This bill helps Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Osama Bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, Satan, The Dark Lord Sauron, Darth Vadar, The Russian from Rocky IV, Cobra Commander, Cruella De Ville, and Jaws.

Well, that’s because Democrats hate our freedom …