Whether it’s mediation, prayer, a good old fashioned trip to the therapist’s office, or all of the above, everyone needs to partake in some soul searching.  Last time, I devoted this segment to the KKK.  Today, let’s look at Hollywood and Iran … Time For Some Soul Searching!

The number 1 movie in America has deeply offended the Iranian people.  300, a precise celluloid adaptation of Frank Miller’s comic book un-precisely based on the Spartan stand at Thermopylae, has sparked petitions, outrage and exclamations from the country for the portrayal of Persians as monsters, slave owners, pimps and last, but not least, the most fabulous Xerxes of all time.

Let’s look at this rationally – and historically – for a moment.

First of all, a little history …

1. No Persian was a monster or had fangs.  Just wanted to get that out of the way.   And if Spartan men really had those washboard abs, female scientists would have already invented time travel long ago.

2. We have inherited a rich and important history of ideas from the Persians, namely from Cyrus the Great who penned the first ideas about human rights.  A replica is displayed today at the U.N.  Those who the Persians conquered enjoyed a considerable amount of freedom, though small tributes and obligatory service in the military were no silver lining indeed.  Just ask the Ionians.

3. Darius, Xerxes’ father, and Xerxes realized that entry into Europe was essential to hold Asia Minor. 

4. No one wants to be conquered, no matter how well they’re treated afterwards.  The house slave might sleep in the house, but they’re still a slave.  Even the ones that slept with our forefathers.  The Persians, historically, were an imperial force set to hold a legistical stake in the region.  The Greeks were free people who wanted to remain that way.  When Xerxes took power in 486, revolts shook his lands in Egypt.  People then, just like today, don’t like foreign forces invading their country and telling them how to live.  Funny, huh?

So this entire argument of the benevolence of Xerxes is a bit overblown.  He wasn’t the worst conqueor in the world, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he took away people’s freedom.  In the movie, however, he was a comic book figure – a gold speedo’d, lacquered and powdered comic book figure.  I’m sure this garb would have landed Xerxes on the worst dressed list in historical Persia.   

But now to the movie which has attracted so much ire.  Let’s look at what officials in Iran are saying:

American cultural officials thought they could get mental satisfaction by plundering Iran’s historic past and insulting this civilization.

Javad Shamadhdavi, cultural advisor to President Ahmadinejad

I thought the same thing – we have cultural officials??? 

And it’s ironic that the cultural advisor feigns any interest in history as his President just held a conference to investigate whether or not the Holocaust actually happened.  Maybe Ahmadinejad should throw a cartoon contest in protest. 

My Iranian friends – respect breeds respect.  If you don’t want to smell like shit, wipe your ass.   

Now for Hollywood – Noam Chomsky discusses how portrayals of Arabs (and this could be said for Russians and the Chinese) manufacture the consent of prejudice and bigotry  towards our neighbors around the globe.  From Rocky IV to 24, foreigners make good targets. 

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes non-white people are the bad guys.  If the storytellers do their job responsibly, no harm, no foul.  However, the inhuman portrayal of “bad guys”, as in the case of Ivan Drago, can step over the line. 

I respectfully, in the case of 300, disagree that this movie will manufacture the consent of bigotry toward Iranians simply because the costuming, portrayals, and the characterization were so over the top – so COMIC BOOK-ESQUE – that even Rednecks won’t equate one with the other.

I mean really, we see a Spartan have sex with a woman.  Now you know that has to be a work of fiction …