[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orxz2mPfB4U]

Pat Robertson, sauntering up to the microphone like he’d just raced Jesus in the 40 meter dash, endorsed Rudy Giuliani on the credentials that all Giuliani supporters endorse him for: the photo-op. 

As pictured above, we see the two probable Presidential Candidates for the November 2008 election.  On the right, we see the poorly coiffed Hillary Clinton, sans any New York Fire or Police Department of New York paraphernalia, her plastic face reflecting the closest thing to concern it can muster after her advisers told her it would win votes.  Who the fuck does she think she is??? 

Ah, but there in the middle of it all (the picture, that is) stands a strong and proud Rudy.  Mask?  He don’t need no stinkin’ mask.  He’ll breathe the same fumes as the 9/11 Rescuers.  Why??  Well, because he’s rich and can afford health insurance but still!  And he’s got the FDNY hat, jacket, belt buckle, and limited-time-only insignia’ed tighty whities to remind him what’s important in the wake of the attacks – perception. 

I sat down with Pat and Rudy after the press conference to find out why Jesus feeds Pat so much bullshit. 

Boo:  Thanks for sitting down with me.

Pat:  Amen to that, sister.

Rudy:  That’s right.  9/11.

Boo:  What?

Rudy:  I end every sentence with 9/11 now to remind us of the threat we face. 

Boo:  How’s that working for you?

Rudy:  I’ll let you know November of 2008. 

Boo:  So, Pat, do you think the media will interpret this endorsement as desperate?  I mean, Rudy was one of the most liberal Republicans ever.

Pat:  Jesus communicated with me the importance of the puppet, er, I mean, pulpit the next President will have when facing Islamofascism.  Rudy is America’s Mayor.

Rudy:  And according to Matthew 9/11 …

Boo:  Wait, I’m gonna have to stop you there …

Before I knew it, Rudy waterboarded me.  I think that was the end of the interview, but damned if I didn’t confess to being in the New York mafia …