Las Vegas Debate Drinking Game
Before tonight’s Democratic Debate in Los Vegas on CNN, I wanted to sit down with my good friend, Wolf Blitzer, to get the head’s up on the event. What I discovered was shocking – a drinking game composed by my other good friends, Anderson Cooper and Larry King. I swiped a copy of it and reproduced it below:
- Everytime Hillary Clinton uses the word “experience”, take a sip of beer while rolling your eyes.
- Everytime Mike Gravel goes on an insane rant about his fellow candidates, slip your grandmother’s panties on and take a shot of whiskey.
- Everytime Dennis Kucinich makes way too much sense for a political candidate – much less a leprechan - eat a bowl of Lucky Charms poured in Jim Beam.
- Everytime Joe Biden shows his pearly whites – which is actually two big porcelein bones wrapped around his jaw – brush your teeth with your favorite vodka.
- Everytime Barack Obama uses his refreshing good looks and swagger to look like more of a human than the Hillarybot, pour Kaluha in your partners mouth and make out through the commercial break.
- Everytime Wolf asks Hillary a question, and she responds, “That’s not the question we planted for you, asshole!” – water your Chia pet with Bicardi.
- Everytime Bill Richardson lists how much more experience he has than everyone else, exclaim, “yeah, but …” and take a shot of tequila.
- Everytime Chris Dodd … oh nevermind …
- Everytime Wolf Blitzer mistakenly refers to Barack Obama as Osama Bin Laden, howl at the moon and throw your TV out the window … after all, by this point, we’re drunk enough.
I was debating watching that. That game would have made it more of an option. Oh well, it’s almost over now.
It’s amazing the access you get. You’re a good revolutionary.
Damn, I’m so drunk right now…I better call a cab. Oh, nevermind, I’m already home!
Wait, this blog is back? And here I thought this place went all Schiavo on me.
Does this mean my theory about Vamps 3 was correct (oh noes, I iz readin’ urz IMDB profilz)? I’d get my hopes up, but I can’t really afford the cost of expanded cable right now, so I’m going to have to keep the hot vamp chick entertainment on hold until next year. Don’t go blowing the fantasy by telling me you were working on something more “substantial” like your “Whisperings” production or your work to stop genocide. Besides, reflections on humanities inherent compulsion to wipe itself out are a real downer. Great, now I’m getting bummed, wait here while I go watch Marie pass out on “Dancing with the Stars”…
I’m back! Thanks Marie!
Thanks for reviving that pic of Jeff Gannon, btw. It’s like I’m seeing some sort of ebon doorway to another dimension where reality has no meaning and everything smells like butt cheese.
As for politics, sorry, I don’t drink. Is it okay if I down a box of Shredded Wheat and send the results to the DCCC and DLC as a donation instead?
Uhh, that should be “humanity’s,” the possessive, not “humanities,” the plural, which, when capitalized, is the University equivalent to a four year excuse to blow your parent’s money while humping the cute transfer student next door even as campus security eyes your roommates 6 foot tall cannibus garden blotting out the sole dorm room window.
And no, that’s not me…mostly.
Bill, my dear …
No Vamps 3 – working on more substantial work. Now behave yourself …
This makes me actually want watching these debates from start to finish… i was sold on the lucky charms in jim beam…perfect treat for the holidays!
NEVER play a Citizen Boo drinking game with Manischewitz! It was all I had in the kitchen. Not recommended.
Hysterical. Almost makes me regret I gave up drinking some time ago, though the past seven years have often made me question…”I got sober for this???”
Hell, I stayed drunk for the entire Reagan administration and the first two years of Bush I.
I don’t have the patience, I wanna get ripped in a hurry, so I’m gonna watch the GOP debate and take a shot of whiskey every time someone speaks the holy name of “Ronald Reagan.”