Before tonight’s Democratic Debate in Los Vegas on CNN, I wanted to sit down with my good friend, Wolf Blitzer, to get the head’s up on the event. What I discovered was shocking – a drinking game composed by my other good friends, Anderson Cooper and Larry King. I swiped a copy of it and reproduced it below:
- Everytime Hillary Clinton uses the word “experience”, take a sip of beer while rolling your eyes.
- Everytime Mike Gravel goes on an insane rant about his fellow candidates, slip your grandmother’s panties on and take a shot of whiskey.
- Everytime Dennis Kucinich makes way too much sense for a political candidate – much less a leprechan - eat a bowl of Lucky Charms poured in Jim Beam.
- Everytime Joe Biden shows his pearly whites – which is actually two big porcelein bones wrapped around his jaw – brush your teeth with your favorite vodka.
- Everytime Barack Obama uses his refreshing good looks and swagger to look like more of a human than the Hillarybot, pour Kaluha in your partners mouth and make out through the commercial break.
- Everytime Wolf asks Hillary a question, and she responds, “That’s not the question we planted for you, asshole!” – water your Chia pet with Bicardi.
- Everytime Bill Richardson lists how much more experience he has than everyone else, exclaim, “yeah, but …” and take a shot of tequila.
- Everytime Chris Dodd … oh nevermind …
- Everytime Wolf Blitzer mistakenly refers to Barack Obama as Osama Bin Laden, howl at the moon and throw your TV out the window … after all, by this point, we’re drunk enough.