How About a Lobby for Citizens???

A small tidbit in the New York Times today, which has no chance of seeing the light of day on the televised news, covered the race by corporate lobbyists to gain last minute approval from the White House to essentially screw the people in some way, shape or form.  Predicting that Democrats might take the White House, Operation Fuck You is currently underway. 

Some of the policies backed by the pro-business lobby include:

  • Trucking Companies would like to increase the maximum number of hours truck drivers can work.  If you’ve ever been on the road with a truck driver who hasn’t slept in 14 hours, I suggest the Transportation Department distribute astronaut diapers for every motorist who will piss themselves when said trucker swerves in and out of his lane.  Driving on the road with a sleepy driver in a Honda Civic is one thing; multiply the wheels to 18, and the highways will start to feel like Interstate Grand Theft Auto
  • Coal Companies have been trying to change their image of late by using an 8 year old with Crayola Crayons explaining the benefits of cleaner coal technology.  However, the coal lobbies would like the Interior Department to allow them to dump rock and dirt from mountaintop mines into nearby water sources.  It’s just too expensive to trap carbon dioxide, and it’s too expensive to haul waste, says the coal lobby.  Since problem solving begins when a situation’s dilemma ranges from disastrous to “OH FUCK!  OH FUCK!”, this looks like yet another conundrum to be inherited by our children and grandchildren.   And who really cares if Appalachia is affected by a little water contamination?  It’s not like the majority of Appalachian adults will be able to read this blog anyway …
  • The Enironmental Protection Agency, known under the Bush Administration as “People for the Ethical Treatment of the Utility Industry”, would like to regulate the use of pollution-control equipment by not mandating the utilization of pollution-control equipment.
  • Employers would like to change the rules for family and medical leave because 12 weeks with an infant is a bit too generous.  After all, as long as a woman spends nine months with the fetus, everything else will just work itself out.  This coincides with the neoconservatives’ outlook on the youth vote, composed 100% of fetuses. 
  • The National Chicken Council and the U.S. Poultry and Egg Association have answered the age old question, “What came first?  The chicken or the damaging ammonia fumes from chicken shit?”  The associations insist that ammonia released into the air is not a public or environmental health hazard “just cause”.  An anonymous spokesperson from the NCC said to me, “The only chicken shits that should be regulated are in the Democratic party”. 

I’m sure there is more, but my bleeding ulcer can’t take it.  Notice the pattern – corporations, which have the same rights as human beings, benefit monetarily when real human beings get screwed.  If there is one main problem facing our democracy, it is the political lobby.  A plague on both sides of the political aisle, the lobby movement – funded by special interest corporations – continue to set the agenda for policy. 

Can we get a lobby for citizens???  The popular vote just doesn’t seem to cut it …

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  1. 1

    I would certainly like to see it.

    I wrote about it on my other blog here:

    Lobby For The American People


  2. boo #

    Awesome … let’s hope they have a billion dollars in their wallet!

  3. Nar #

    As if interstate truckers aren’t scary enough to be on the road with?!

  4. 4

    Don’t worry about the truckers, that’s what meth is for. And as a representative of Northern most Appalachia I say to you…we are watching (cue banjo).

  5. Agi #

    Predicting that Democrats might take the White House, Operation Fuck You is currently underway

    Sheez, these lobbyists could have at least given us some lube.

  6. 6

    Honestly, maybe the trucking companies are on to something. I mean if truckers have longer hours then aren’t they going to need something to help them stay awake? Lookie there! They’ve created jobs everywhere with one small change in hours!
    Rejoice backyard scientists and teach thy neighbor the ways of the meth lab!
    Blessed be to the bountiful # of cops we will need to bust these meth labs!
    And hooray to the pharmaceutical companies for now they can prosper by finding a cure for sleep!

    The same goes for the EPA and the coal companies. Thank you for creating jobs that we would not have needed before!
    Next time some homeless man begs me for change I’ll know just what to say to him!
    “Eh, go clean a river WILL YA!” and “Make your own damn money! There are plenty of jobs out there! Just ask the coal lobbyists”

  7. 7

    The government of ‘We the People’ was doomed from the time the courts conferred ‘personhood’ on corporations. Now first amendment rights are construed as ‘money talks, bullshit – period.’ Through campaign financing they control the political agenda, and nobody is allowed to question that.

    Now it’s the living, breathing populace who have to fight for their personhood.

  8. 8

    it’s not friday.

  9. 9

    Wake the fuck up Boo!


  1. Derrick 09 03 14

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